We’re going to go ahead and assume that the Justin Bieber part of this story really has no BEARing on the situation; surely a Bee Gees song or the hook of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” would have scared off the grizzly attacker…
The UK’s Daily Mail has a report about a very unlucky Russian man named Igor Vorozhbitsyn who was allegedly walking to his favorite fishing spot when he felt “a tremendous impact” on his back, which turned out to be from a stalking bear.
Although he got pretty beat up, he thanks his granddaughter for saving his life. How? Because she put a Justin Bieber ringtone, the song “Baby,” on his phone as a joke, which went off during the pummeling.
“I know that sort of ringtone isn’t to everyone’s taste, but my granddaughter loaded it onto my phone for a joke,” he told The Daily Mail.
Look, not only is it not in everyone’s taste, Igor, but it’s Bieber first single. That came out four years ago. How far behind IS Russia on Western pop culture? Since 2010 Justin has dodged pregnancy rumors, peed in restaurant mop buckets, crashed a few cars and upset entire countries. Maybe it’s time to get the Internet and talk to your granddaughter about the dangers of Justin Bieber. This bear attack may have been a blessing in disguise for your family.
Click HERE for the full story and to see Igor (it’s a little graphic, but he’s OK. Plus, he’s Russian. He’ll be fine.)
–Scott Shannon in the Morning/WCBS-FM
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